This is what always happens. I get into something like Xanga, and it dies. Quickly, and forcefully.
One day I just decide that I don't really want to write about my life or what I think anymore. I stop wanting to spend a few minutes writing down nonsense, when I could be doing something that either takes less effort (such as watching Bleach) or doing something productive (like work after I've put that 15 page paper off til the night before it's due).
That's how my life seems to be. I get into something for a while. Something new peeks my interest. Then it dies, or becomes exponentially less exciting than it once was. Like the first day of school. Felt exciting, now feels like "The third ring of hell" to quote someone I heard today (though they were talking about working as a chef in a restaurant).
Still. It feels like everything loses it's excitement factor so quickly...or maybe it's just me enjoying things a lot less. Life is becoming too stressful to spend time on things I actually enjoy. I have to think about the future, working, money, living, school...everything. I don't live one day at a time, as much as I'd like to. I try to look at my mirror on the desk, I try to tell people to do that...when I'm giving advice. "Stop taking so much responsibility for others, be a little selfish. Do what makes you happy for once.""Live one day at a time, you never even know if you'll make it to the next"...I always tell people stuff like that. I try to thank every day I wake up breathing. I try to thank life for giving me the good situations. The good people, the good grades (pretty much), the good living situations, the good free time, good weekends, good breaks...
And an amazing girlfriend. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one truly appreciative of the place I am in as far as relationship-wise. I hear so many people in situations I've been, situations I never want to be, situations I'd never think of being in again (or allow myself to be for that matter).
When I break things down (like I told people today that I tend to have to do to function properly)
I am happy.
Sure, I have stress and things to complain and rant about sometimes, but really...compared to the past (not all of it, but some/most) it's very nice. I'm moving on with my life, getting along quite nicely on my own (and with the help of wonderful people that have come into my life more recently), getting good grades even though I have horrible procrastination habits (I'm not writing this in bio when I should be paying attention or anything), eating well enough, staying fairly healthy/happy, in a wonderful relationship that is going on 6 months, have a job working with go karts (easy to the point where it's like free money, nice people, and fun...what better job is out there right now?), etc. etc.
I don't want to act like I have a better life than anyone, but I'd like to think my theory came true. Some might remember it better than others...but I used to always say:
"Things are balanced. For every bad thing that happens to us, a good thing will happen too, and vice versa. Whether we have to go through multiple bad things before we get one good thing going for us, that's up to whatever power there is...Fate, destiny, whatever. It'll all work out."
Maybe things are finally working out for me.
